i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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