sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
