Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
