Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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