I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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