she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
