Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
