Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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