ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
