using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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