Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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