This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
