He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize