Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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