bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize