Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
