the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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