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• (619): View more from California

  I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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• (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy 

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• (718): View more from New York

  Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.

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