Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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