It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!