I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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