I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
