My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
