you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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