I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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