Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
