How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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