her vagine was all disorganized.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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