next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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