Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
