Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
