the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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