There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
