Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Welp...herpes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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