Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
