i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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