stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
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Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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