3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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