There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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