Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize