you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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