I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
