some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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