i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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