Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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