it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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