New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
