I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
