you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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