My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
