You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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