Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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