he wants to bone in the snuggie
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
