The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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