I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
