I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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