Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
