I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
