She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
