I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
