you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
