I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
