I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
