Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She's the barista slut.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
