That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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