Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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