so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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