Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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